Prince Caspian

One of my goals for 2018 is to read 120 books. How will I read 10 books a month you ask?! I'm not exactly sure yet, but I know that, being a goal setter, I will do all I can to achieve it. Setting goals, especially stretch goals, is a great way to focus one's energy towards achieving that goal. I set this goal for 3 reasons:

1. I've never read that many books in 1 year before (not even close)
2. I enjoy reading (more as an adult than I ever did as a kid) and love learning
3. I want to be a role model for my kids

The first book I finished this year was Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. It was the first time I have read a Harry Potter book and it was entertaining. The second book I finished this year was the second in C.S. Lewis' classic Chronicles of Narnia series:  Prince Caspian. I finished The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe at the end of December so I can't count that one for 2018 :-(. However, I am not just reading books for my own enjoyment. I am reading the Narnia series out loud to my kids just like my dad did for me when I was about their age. It has been pure joy to try and decipher who enjoys it more...me reading out loud and enjoying C.S. Lewis...or my kids hanging on every word and begging to "go on" after I've finished a chapter with a dramatic pause.

I have read and heard that parents will often stop reading to their children once they can begin reading chapter books on their own. I have also read that reading out loud to your children throughout elementary school age is an incredibly rewarding experience for all involved. I can attest that this is very true!

How many books will you read this year? What must read recommendations do you have for me?

Foresight Hindsight

It is quite something how foresight and hindsight weave together sometimes like a well crafted rope. During a purposeful reflection time last February between Mortenson and Cresa, I had the chance to #pausereflectadvance. I was able to spend a few days in Grand Marais to mentally close the first chapter of my career, pause in the stillness of the in-between, and mentally prepare to advance to the second chapter of my career. Funny how accurate written words can be sometimes. Here is what I wrote on February 17, 2017:

"Eme is amazing. She encourages me to take these times away for reflection, and this time was even more important to get away. I accomplished what I set out to do this week. I reflected on a great career at Mortenson by tangibly and mentally closing that chapter in my life. I paused and lived in the moment of the peace and to rest in God's creation. And I advanced by planning and setting goals for 2017 and beyond. I am refreshed, renewed, and ready to begin a new chapter. I am ready to write my own pages of success and journey with God's guidance and direction rather than reading from a pre-determined script. I am ready to be praised for good work and critiqued for things I can improve upon. I'm ready for a new challenge, to put my MBA to work, and to meet new people. I am ready for new life, vigor, excitement, passion, and joy. I am simply ready to be me. Fully me. Who God created me to be. God created me to help people by using my unique creative leadership style. I am eager to see how this new chapter plays into my passion for faith ~ life ~ work integration. I'm ready to pour more back into my family."

"May what I do flow from me like a river, no forcing and no holding back, the way it is with children." Rainer Maria Rilke

"Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness." Galations 5:22

Dichotomy of Success

American business and social culture offers a simple misconception of success to both working dads and working moms. Having coffee with a dear friend the other day our conversation meandered into work/life balance (integration)...surprise surprise! Specifically, I shared how American culture tells me, as a working dad, I can only have success in one arena of my life. The good news is that I can choose. The bad news is that my choice is between work success or family success. My friend added that American culture is telling an opposite misconception to working moms. Moms can be successful at being both a full time mom AND a full time marketplace worker. If you're a mom working outside the home, American culture says you don't have to choose.

Why are these both lies? And does tweaking one simple word in the equation offer hope? Read on...

These are both lies because God created us in His image, both male and female. God's very nature is loving, hard working, and resting. God's vision for men and women was not to have a dichotomy of success. Rather, He created us to love each other, work in tandem with each other, in some cases raise a family together, and have fun with each other. 

But this doesn't complete the picture. How do you define success? I'm sure it's different than my definition and it may be different than your best friend, neighbor, or even your spouse! One dad might define success by 20 hours per week earning minimum wage while another dad may define success by earning gobs of money for a "good life." One mom may define success by choosing to be a full time homemaker while another may climb the corporate latter impacting global companies. These aren't the only options, but simple examples. 

However, to fully validate the concept, one word needs to replace "success." That word is "significance." Think about it. A man can certainly be a significant daddy/husband AND a significant businessman. Similarly, a woman can be a significant mommy/wife AND a significant business woman. Changing one word in the equation dramatically changes the conversation. Living and leading a life of significance opens the door to a world beyond one's self. It offers humility, selflessness, and servant leadership to thrive in the workplace and at home. A mom who views her world with a significance lens will intentionally decide how many evening work engagements to commit to rather than aimlessly following after her manager's lead. A dad pressing into a life of significance will work with business clients that align with his vision of compassion, morals, ethics, and shared responsibility rather than taking on a client based only on large fees.

What is one way you can intentionally change your mindset from success to significance this week?

Grounding

More time this year, than ever before, I have been able to simply "be" with my family. Cutting out the noise to intentionally focus on family time has been refreshing as well as a topic of great thought in my life. I am, as this blog overtly suggests, fully into life integration. However, I have been struck lately as to how fulfilling it can be to separate one's life at times. There is a healthy tension within me that fully embraces a fully integrated life while being content and happy with a compartmentalized life. This doesn't seem to make sense though! You would think those two concepts would be at complete odds with each other!

I haven't traveled on a plane for work since January 31st. Whoa! A drastic difference than my 2016. Travel for work also holds a healthy tension in my life. I both enjoy the thrill of experiencing a new city and dread the din of airport food, hotel pillows, Uber ride "adventures", and all day indoor meetings. The past 6 months have been a retreat, a respite, and rejuvenation, and revitalization of family time in our household. My oldest put it best while at my youngest's soccer game earlier this week as she looked up at me from the blanket on the ground - "Daddy, we're all together again!" (This came after my two kiddos and I spent time on the road at different times for camp, grandparent travel, and volunteering).

Intentionally finding time to "be" with family, fully present, without distractions is increasingly a challenge in my always on and connected life. But one area that has provided great benefit to me (and probably more benefit to my family!) is being in a workplace culture that supports family, is fun, and provides an engaging atmosphere to learn while making a difference in our community. 

My faith and family provide grounding I needed in this season of life more than I realized. At the same time, my work is contributing to the fulfillment in my life in ways I didn't know existed! My soul is being refreshed. Separate or integrated? I'd say both/and.

P.S. A completely heartfelt and LOUD shout out to my loving and supportive wife who graciously provides the best grounding for our family that God could possibly have imagined! She is my constant, my love, and my co-pilot forging a path for our family.

Spur Trail

Life moves fast. The pace seems to move ever quicker with after school activities, work assignments, meal planning, volunteer opportunities, and other life moments that take up every waking moment...or seems to anyway. Our 2017 did NOT begin the way my wife and I had planned it. One or multiple members of our family were sick from Christmas through February, I traveled for work 12 of the 21 business days in January, and I accepted an opportunity with Cresa Minneapolis. That's right, I decided to say goodbye to Mortenson after nearly 13 years of dedication, learning, and working with great people on some really great projects across the U.S. But I didn't just drop my line out and snag the first fish that swam by. This was a process spanning months of development, introspect, prayer, and countless conversations with my beautifully wise wife. 

You may have noticed a drop off in my blog "production" since mid-January. I held a glimmer of hope that I could still maintain my blog posting during the navigatable tumultuous months of January (intense decision making) and February (intentional transition from one company to another), but alas, I decided to let go and pick up when life settled down to a healthy pace again. 

I am almost 3 weeks into my new role at Cresa and life has changed dramatically while staying constant. I am excited to dig into and share my transition experience. Changing jobs is one thing, but shifting into a a sister industry to the one I had known for 13 years was quite the experience! It's not something one does every day (or even every year)...thank goodness! 

Life moves fast, but my wife and I were prepared for the curve ball 2017 threw at us. Grounded in our faith, supported by our close friend and family community, and drawing on past experience guided us through January and February. It's already March, it seems like the year has just begun, and we're ready for our next adventure!

"Be strong and courageous, do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."  Joshua 1:9