American business and social culture offers a simple misconception of success to both working dads and working moms. Having coffee with a dear friend the other day our conversation meandered into work/life balance (integration)...surprise surprise! Specifically, I shared how American culture tells me, as a working dad, I can only have success in one arena of my life. The good news is that I can choose. The bad news is that my choice is between work success or family success. My friend added that American culture is telling an opposite misconception to working moms. Moms can be successful at being both a full time mom AND a full time marketplace worker. If you're a mom working outside the home, American culture says you don't have to choose.
Why are these both lies? And does tweaking one simple word in the equation offer hope? Read on...
These are both lies because God created us in His image, both male and female. God's very nature is loving, hard working, and resting. God's vision for men and women was not to have a dichotomy of success. Rather, He created us to love each other, work in tandem with each other, in some cases raise a family together, and have fun with each other.
But this doesn't complete the picture. How do you define success? I'm sure it's different than my definition and it may be different than your best friend, neighbor, or even your spouse! One dad might define success by 20 hours per week earning minimum wage while another dad may define success by earning gobs of money for a "good life." One mom may define success by choosing to be a full time homemaker while another may climb the corporate latter impacting global companies. These aren't the only options, but simple examples.
However, to fully validate the concept, one word needs to replace "success." That word is "significance." Think about it. A man can certainly be a significant daddy/husband AND a significant businessman. Similarly, a woman can be a significant mommy/wife AND a significant business woman. Changing one word in the equation dramatically changes the conversation. Living and leading a life of significance opens the door to a world beyond one's self. It offers humility, selflessness, and servant leadership to thrive in the workplace and at home. A mom who views her world with a significance lens will intentionally decide how many evening work engagements to commit to rather than aimlessly following after her manager's lead. A dad pressing into a life of significance will work with business clients that align with his vision of compassion, morals, ethics, and shared responsibility rather than taking on a client based only on large fees.
What is one way you can intentionally change your mindset from success to significance this week?